I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Someone came in the potted fern
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
