tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
