You smell like stripper and shame
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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