im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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