What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
