I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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