Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She's JV to your varsity
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
