never play flip cup with pint glasses
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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