I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
