I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
