Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
