census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
