I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
