and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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