The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
