the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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