Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize