420 ftw
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
