Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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