he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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