Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Mom said you looked used
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
