she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
