just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
