@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
