called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
