:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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