dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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