Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
