does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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