My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
