Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
