ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
