haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
