Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
