We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
