Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Jerry, you need to find god
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
