ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize