what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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