even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
