Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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