Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
