I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
