he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Girls should come with a carfax report
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
