OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize