so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
