Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
