Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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