I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
