dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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