There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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