I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
