would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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