Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
