he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
