I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
