is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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