found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you would pick up someone in the library
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize