You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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