Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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