just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't turn off my feet"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
