we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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