Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
