I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
