I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
