It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
