yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
